Are you a friend?

What would you do if someone approached you saying they were having lots of trouble with depression or anxiety? Would you ignore them? Try to pass their problems off as inconsequential? Is this the approach you would want your friends to take if you reached out to someone seeking help? I fear too many people don't reach out to others for help or have tried to and have had it passed off as something unworthy of dealing with, not because their friends don't care, but because their friends don't know what to do about it. If you were ever to have someone seek help from you, don't ignore it. Ask them what you can do to help, and maybe suggest some viable options for further assistance. Odds are if they are reaching out for help they are in a mental state bad enough that they aren't sure where to turn. Be a friend. Love without judging. Seek to be truly helpful, maybe even save a life.

The Birth Story of Rachel

This pregnancy was harder than the first from the beginning- longer morning sickness, major discomfort, prodromal labor- all of it. That’s partially why I was sure it was a boy- it was so different. I was flabbergasted and it took me a while to adjust after the ultrasound where the tech said, “That is definitely a girl picture.”

This girl was sitting very low, and I had people mention it even when I was only 7 months along, and it didn’t take me long to realize it. It was terribly uncomfortable.

Several times in my 38^th week I had real, regular contractions, and twice I called my midwife into the birthing center (once staying overnight) but nothing was progressing enough to produce a baby either time. I found out that what I was experiencing was called prodromal labor, where the contractions are real and regular for a given amount of time but they don’t progress in intensity and then stop, often happening the same time of day. So this is what I dealt with that week.

On that Sunday I went home early from church not feeling well, and slept for a couple hours before my family got home. Since I was able to nap during church, that afternoon I did some hypnosis from the hypnobabies track on turning a posterior facing baby. The next few days I dedicated myself to working harder than ever to get baby into a good position by doing all the exercises my midwife had given me to do and by listening to the hypnobabies track. A couple days into it I felt the baby move into a different position, but I couldn’t tell if it was a favorable position until the midwife confirmed that it was at my appointment that week. And she didn’t move from that position, and the prodromal labor finally stopped. No more contractions. Thank heaven.

A week later the contractions came back with a vengeance. I woke at 1:30 in the morning that Wednesday to contractions so intense I couldn’t sleep through them. They were 7 minutes apart. They stayed that way all night. I was excited when my husband’s alarm went off and told him it was probably going to happen today so he could stay home from work, which he did. Then my contractions started getting further apart instead of closer, but they stayed just as intense all day long. I was thankful for him being there with our two year old because it would’ve been a very hard day trying to take care of her through those contractions. As the day wore on the contractions became more and more sporadic. It’d be 45 minutes between contractions, and then two hours, and then I’d have three in the course of five minutes. I decided this was just more prodromal labor. By the time 9:30 pm rolled around I was miserable so, in desperation, I called my midwife, and told her my situation and asked if there was anything I could do to get things to speed up or slow down enough that I could sleep. So she told me to lie down on my side and see if the contractions would regulate and if they did then I could call her. So I went to bed, lying on my side as instructed. The contractions were 7 minutes apart and didn’t get any closer together, but they got more intense. They started getting intense enough that I couldn’t stay quiet through them, so I went to lie on the couch so I wouldn’t disturb my husband. They still stayed at 7 minutes apart, but they were more intense than I could try and sleep through, and soon they got more intense than I could even lay down through. Around 1:30, while heating up a rice bag for my back, I had a contraction that was bad enough that I was basically screaming through it, doubled over the counter. My husband came out of our room and asked if it was time to go in, and all I could say was, “Yes!” He had to help me sit down at a chair after that, and I had him grab my phone so I could call the midwife. When I called her she said she was on her way to Logan to deliver another baby but that she would call in another midwife to sub for her, then I called Amanda, my doula, and told her I was on my way there. Suddenly my contractions got close enough together that there was basically no break in between them. We got everything in the car and drove as fast as we could to the birthing center.

Amanda pulled in right at the same time we did, and my husband pulled the car right up to the base of the stairway, and he helped me out of the car. We had to pause several times on the way up the stairs- several times for me, once to wait for Amanda to unlock the door. Once we got upstairs I threw myself on the bed. A few minutes later I got up to use the bathroom, then returned to the main room. Amanda had put out a birthing ball for me to sit on, and I went to sit on it and found that it put more pressure on my hips than I wanted to deal with, so I got on my knees and elbows on the bed. Amanda was rubbing my back and during contractions and tried pressure on certain pressure points to ease the pain, and even had my husband try pushing on some, but all they tried just made the pain worse. Then suddenly my water broke and gushed out all over the bed. I had planned a water birth from day one, and even at that point all I wanted to do was to get in the water. The pool wasn’t filled though and the midwife wasn’t there yet, so I asked if I could get in the bathtub, and we filled it up. Many of the positions I got into in the tub put extra pressure on my hips or my back, but I finally found a comfortable position and remained there. Amanda took down the removable shower head and sprayed it over my belly and my hips, and I was surprised at how good that felt. Sometime throughout this course the new midwife, arrived. She seemed to be overly worried about how comfortable I looked and tried to find a towel I could use as a pillow, and even tried to see if I wanted to get out and lean over a birthing ball in the other room. I remember trying to get up, and then sinking down and saying, “I don’t want to move.” And I didn’t. It wasn’t long after that that I felt the sudden urge to push, and I moved to my hands and knees and began pushing. It was such a relief to push. When she began descending the pain was overwhelming, and I tried to push quickly so that she would come out faster, but I was advised to pause for a minute to let the skin stretch, and it was all I could do to stop myself. I resumed pushing and a few minutes later I felt a huge relief as the baby slid right out into the midwife’s hands at 3:37 am, and she and Amanda worked to thread her through my legs so that I could hold her, and I leaned back and held my baby for the first time. The midwife asked, “What have you got there?” and I double checked, and said, “It’s a girl.” She calmed right down once I started rocking her, and I stuck her partially in the water so she could stay warm for a minute. I then turned around so that I could lean back on the back of the tub. We sat for a bit, and I just held my tiny, dark-haired little one. The midwife was concerned with the amount of bleeding I was having, and gave me a shot of pitocin to get the bleeding slowed down. I soon delivered the placenta and it didn’t take long for the cord to stop pulsing and my husband was able to cut it. 

Soon it was time to move to the bed. I was once again handed my sweet baby. 

We were both examined. Baby was 20.75 inches long, head circumference 14 inches. She asked if we had any guesses as to how much she weighed. My husband and I both guessed something in the 7 ½ lbs range, and both the midwife and Amanda looked at the scale, then to us, then back to the scale with surprised amusement. “8 lbs, 15.5 oz, but we have to round up, so that’s 9 lbs.” 

Not long after my midwife returned from Logan, and the substituting midwife caught her up on the main points of what had gone on during the night. While cleaning up they asked if I wanted to keep the placenta. I refused, but I wanted to look at it and have them show me how it worked. It was quite fascinating.

 Things had wound down and I was getting ready to try to sleep a little bit so Amanda decided to go home, and it wasn’t long after that the replacement midwife left too. My husband left to go home and I was left alone with the baby to sleep and she spent the next several hours sleeping next to me on the bed or in my arms. 

I didn’t do quite as much sleeping, but the quiet was nice. My midwife came and checked on me periodically between appointments and brought me lunch when my husband didn’t show up before I got hungry.

My husband came and brought our little girl around noon. When she walked in, she came tentatively. I asked her if she wanted to see the baby and I helped her onto the bed, and she looked and her, and asked if she could touch her hair. She kept looking at me and saying, “Baby coot.” (Baby cute) Then she asked, “Hold it?” and I helped her hold her sister.

We gave her a baby doll a little while later so she could have her own baby, and she enjoyed playing with it and exploring the birthing suite, and before long we went home to start our new life with our beautiful new little Rachel.

Special thanks go out to my wonderful doula, Amanda of Power Birth, Peaceful Birth, without whom I would have be stuck laboring in the car for an hour, during which my water broke. Her support and help were very much appreciated.

Thanks also to my wonderful midwife. She is amazing and extremely supportive. Even though she wasn't able to be there for the actual birth there is so much to thank her for. 

Big thanks go to the replacement Midwife, who drove like a maniac from Wyoming to be there for me in time.

But the biggest thanks go to my husband for all the love, support, and missed work he gave me to help me through the rough patches. He is a wonderful husband and daddy, and I thank my Heavenly Father daily for the amazing blessing he is in ours lives.

Long time, not much has changed...

The last almost two years since my last post have flown by (I mean, holy cow! My daughter is almost 2!) and, oddly enough, not much has changed (besides her) in our lives since then besides a few major things I can think of-

1) After having a horrible time trying to breastfeed our little girl I tried the one thing I could think of to increase my milk production- intake more calories. I failed to realize the importance of the quality of the food and ended up fattening myself up (like, so I was only 10 lbs lighter than I was the day BEFORE I delivered our baby. Yeah, it was bad). I decided a change needed to be made in my diet and I cut out processed sugars. Not too long after that I started trying the diet recommended by my footzoning instructors (see next bullet) which includes cutting out wheat, red meat and dairy in addition to the processed sugars. Once I started that my extra weight dropped off like melting butter (40 lbs in 4 months. Not too shabby, eh?) and I was able to reach my pre-married life weight, which was the goal. Not only did I lose weight but I felt the best I had since I could remember. I was (and still am) quite proud of myself. 

2) I struggled with postpartum depression for a long time after our daughter was born. I spent the majority of my time trying to find a way to make myself more accomplished than being a crazed zombie monster who stayed home with a tiny version of myself all day long. My thoughts often reverted back to what I would do if I went back to school, and I seriously considered going to PA school, something I hadn't thought of doing since my first semester of college. My depression about my worth to society did not improve when we talked about it and decided that such a lofty goal wouldn't fit into the lifestyle we wanted for us and our children (I honestly don't think I could have done it even if we had though). Then I was introduced by one of my MIL's friends who is a footzoner and she talked of sorts of things you could do with it and I wanted to learn more, so I signed up for classes. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined how amazing an impact it would have on my life. While taking the classes and zoning myself my depression was gone and the back problems I'd had from my epidural were gone. Not only that but I learned a lot about how foods affect our bodies (in many more ways than you could learn in any college nutrition class) and I changed my diet and was able to lose 40 lbs and feel wonderful. 

So now I have graduated with a certification in footzoning and take clients on in my home. I now don't feel like I need to go back to school to fulfill my need for success in life. 

3) I have, for a long time, been wanting to get more into doing my artwork, but because I enjoy doing portraits of people the most I haven't had much inspiration or motivation because my parents and I only have so much wall space we can dedicate to my art, so I've been on virtual stand-still when it comes to art for the past few years. Then I recently got involved with a local non-profit arts and music program, and got talked into being a part of their local artists faire in December. I enjoyed it so much I started a page for my stuff to sell on Facebook and Instagram. Then the organization had a local business space donated to them for a five month span of time to set up a gallery. I was able to set up my space in there two weeks ago. Even though I have not yet had any commissions for portraits yet my vigor has been renewed and I have put together a few additional pieces since to started and I had forgotten how fulfilling it is for me to be so creative. So the past two months have been dedicated to starting up stuff for this business. It feels nice to have something besides my child to be involved in. 

4) Last, but certainly not least, we are now expecting baby girl number two May 28th. My OB moved out of town right before I got pregnant and, due to a series of frustrating events the previous time, I have decided to try using a midwife this time around. She has been amazing so far and I am excited (and a little nervous) to try and do this unmedicated this time. 

So the next few months will be spent organizing the house so that we can have room for two little ones in our apartment. 

Now that I've caught up on our happenings hopefully these posts won't be so terribly long. 

Our Little Angel

 10 Days Old, Sunday Outfit

Daddy napping with the little One. He caught me.

Grandma teaching Mom how to give Baby Girl a bath.

Welcome to the World!

Welcome to Earth life, little Moriah Wight! Born April 3 at 9:05 am, weighing 7 lbs 12 oz, 20 1/2 inches long.

Details:
I went to my stress test on Wednesday (the 2nd) expecting not to have any issues- I hadn't for the previous 4 sessions. I had even been in a hurry to get to my appointment so I only had some poptarts for breakfast, anticipating a large lunch at the cafe at the hospital after my appointment. The nurse came in when I was about done and said that the baby's heartbeat was doing things that were worrisome. Since I was already at 39 weeks the doctor decided that they would just induce me that day. The nurse walked me down to labor and delivery (making it so that I couldn't eat my lunch). This was around noon. The tech came in a little while later with my ice chips and suckers- the only things I was going to be allowed to eat until the baby was born. The entire floor was full, and I waited 2 hours to be transferred to a different room, soon after which they started me on pitocin. I was still dilated to a 1 at this point in time. From then on it was just a waiting game. I sat and watched tv or slept til Spencer came from work around 4, and then we watched tv together. I was determined to go naturally without an epidural (not only because it's expensive, but because the thought of a needle coming that close to my spinal cord scared me). Up til 9:30 that night I had only progressed to a 2, and my doctor broke my water at that point, hoping I would progress faster that way. Since I was progressing so slowly I told Spencer he could go to his soccer game. He thought once my water was broken I would go faster so he skipped the second game and came and hung out with me. My mom showed up around 11:30 that night and we all hung out together for a long while. The nurse came in again at 3 to check me and I was still only dilated to a 3 plus, and my contractions were getting to the point where I couldn't stand them. I had tried all sorts of positions trying to stay comfortable but most of the positions I found comfortable were not allowed because the monitors wouldn't stay on. My nurse explained that it traditionally takes an hour per centimeter after reaching 4, which wasn't happening. Once I found this out my patience was waning fast. I quickly decided that an epidural would be preferable to trying to endure the contractions the way they were for that much longer, and I was already exhausted, so I opted for the epidural. After that I slept until 7:30 and I was dilated to a 9 plus, and my nurse told me I would start pushing in an hour, and she started to set up the room. I started pushing, stopped for a little while, then started again once my doctor showed up. Less than 10 minutes later Moriah was born.

Flowers and a balloon from Grandma L.

 

Although I doubt any of them will ever see this, I would like to thank the doctors and the nurses that helped us out. They were all extremely incredible and helpful! I actually miss being there and being able to associate with such wonderful people.

Dinner Date

My brother and sister-in-law came down to Utah from Oregon for a break from school. My parents came up from S. Utah and we went to dinner at Chuck-a-Rama in Ogden. It is so nice to be together.

April Fools!

This is what we woke up to on April 1st. I guess Mother Nature had to have the first gag of the day.